It is currently 2am, and I was having a lovely late night discourse with my boyfriend on the analytics of Instagram and why it matters (to me). To which, he finally exclaims, "You are so try hard!" Bless the boy's soul that I love him, or I would've
All jokes aside - Why is it so frowned upon to try at something?
Throwing it back to grade school when it was lame to be the first to raise your hand to answer a question, or when it was not cool to wear both straps on your backpack...WHY? Now that we are fully grown humans, the judgement still exists when you see another putting in work for something they find enjoyment in and some people just don't get why. Is the only time we don't pass judgment when they turn their passions into success stories? I get that we live in a cut-throat society of competition, we all want to survive out here, but in doing so, sometimes in order to be feel validated or superior we have to put others down. To this I say:
The fear of judgement has always been prevalent. Afraid of what their perception of me would be if I tried at something I liked; If I just put my self out there. "What if people think my writing sucks?" "If I fail, they'll laugh." "I'll never be as good as he/she/they." "My #ootd is just not as glam as Kylie Jenner's."
Upon reaching my semi-mid-twenties, this fear eventually starts to fade. Yes, there will always be the voice in the back of my mind that says,"She's trying so hard, why does she care so much?" when I'm carefully taking an intentionally-framed selfie in front of natural light using self timer on the super nice mirrorless camera that I purchased with one weeks salary which then I so used facetune to define my eyelashes and then vscocam to apply my commonly used filter so that when I upload my picture to instagram, my feed stays within the color scheme that I've been curating for the past few months. To that voice I say, "Yeah, I am EXTRA, and I like doing this. I ENJOY taking pictures of things and making them look nice. I may have slight case of narcissism and it might be due to low self esteem and a need for self-gratification or maybe I just like my makeup today. But why should this matter to them? I hope I can impress on those who still find it a struggle to be your authentic self, that what you enjoy doing is between you and yourself only. Another's opinion, good or bad, is just noise and you can chose to let that affect your happiness or you can use it as leverage to improve your craft. And yes, Instagram is considered a craft.
If you want to dress up to take a physics final, go do it. If you want to be a part of 5 different clubs on campus, do it (but like, balance is necessary). If you enjoy taking pics of brunch, tell your friends to pause and you be extra and stand on your chair and take a birds eye view of that brunch table!
So with my first #thoughtpost concluding, I hope that you take courage to pursue what makes you happy and to be encouraging to others as they do the same... and follow me on the gram https://www.instagram.com/nancy.m.nguyen/
Don't worry, I know my boyfriend loves and supports me. I say the same to him about PokemonGo.